As someone slips from normal thinking, odd thoughts and ideas develop, with one of the most common being that they believe that dead relatives are still alive.
I can get cross with caring staff who say to me - your Mother's a bit confused today. It makes me want to scream " SHE'S NOT CONFUSED! - SHE'S GOT DEMENTIA!"
These same rational caring or medical staff love to help my mother see that when she says she's going to visit her parents, that they can help her by saying things like - "if your parents are alive how old would they be? ", or flatly telling her that her parents are dead!
They are trying to help. I think.
I just recommend that all those working in care homes are encouraged to read:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Contented-Dementia-Wraparound-Lifelong-Well-being/dp/0091901812/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1364059413&sr=1-1
I think this book is wonderful and very insightful. I've been personally inspired by it, and I believe that my mother's current state of calm and mostly good humour is in part because I've been able to connect with her as the dementia increases.
My father used to tell a joke in not very good taste about the difference between a neurotic and a psychotic. The neurotic knew that 2+2 was 4 but was really worried about it. The Psychotic knew that 2+2 was 5 and was very happy about it. I think this experience of gradually losing one's mental capacities must be immensely scary and the hardest part is as the realisation of one's incapacity is spotlighted by the 'helpful' outside world. A mirror put up showing your own disease to you - you see how bad it is?
Thanks to my brother for naming this experience.
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